Yes, you are 5 now...

Your birthday was March 20th. You are 5 years old now. I sit back and try to remember where all the time has gone. I search my mind for all the new things you have started doing and saying and there are just so many to mentions. You have been going to the Montessori school for 9 months now. You are blossoming into an independent self-thinker with all kinds of ideas. You love music and are always singing and dancing around the house and putting on shows. You have even started creating tickets for your shows and making sure everyone has a seat. You have such a sweet mild mannered way about you. In fact I think you have an old soul. Just the other day you asked me if I would take care of you always and forever. I of course answered with a resounding yes, of course. My heart just beams with joy whenever I see your little face. I am so proud of all of your accomplishments. You count to 20 in Spanish, can hold a basic “Hi, how are you, and I am fine thank you “conversation in Spanish. You also can recite a lot of colors in Spanish as well. You are starting to read short stories by using phonics to sound out your words and can spell lots of 3 letter words by sound. You are now eating hamburgers and chicken nugget meals at McDonalds and actually tell me you are hungry. I remember when we had to fight you to eat and spent hours in feeding therapy to get you to eat anything. You have come such a long way in your short life. You are so independent anymore. It hurts me sometimes that I am no longer needed at most times but is also exciting to me that you are so independent and able to do so many things on your own. The fact that you are growing up is so bitter sweat. For now I sit and watch you, and drink in every minute of your discoveries and you are so excited to show me… soon enough I will not be enough. In fact soon enough you will not want “mom” in your business all the time, soon enough your friends will take precedent over mom, soon enough… but for now I will continue to enjoy the little moments when you want me to cuddle you and hold you and sing you to sleep….that is until, soon enough…

You can learn a lot from a 4 year old...

Tonight at a lazy dinner at Chili’s since mom did not feel like cooking after a long day at work, Elyssa asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. In a matter of 5 seconds my whole 40 years passed before me and it did take long for me to realize I had never done what I wanted to do when I grew up so I quickly answered “Elyssa – I’m already grown up and I am what I wanted to be – I am your mommy!” She laughed and said “mommy, that’s not a job”. I guess in a sense she is right, I don’t view being her mommy as a “job”- it is more like an everyday adventure. So in all my adult wisdom I decided to turn the tables on her and ask her “Elyssa what do you want to be when you grow up?”- it took her no time at all to answer. No she did not reply as I would have wanted her to and say that she wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer or president of the United States, instead she looked at me with her big blue/hazel/green eyes and said “mommy, I’m going to grow up and be me”. I don’t know how she does it, but for a mere 4 years old she makes the most profound statement. I could not have asked for a better answer. So many of us establish high expectations at a young age trying to determine what it is we will end up being in this thing called life that we never take the time to just “be ourselves”. Our lives are filled with so many complicated issues and expectations that we never just allow ourselves to be “just me”. We put on personalities and adjust our ideas to meet the needs of others and never allow our own personalities to shine. Honestly, I hope that my little girl has the ability to never loose herself in the “mediocrity” of life and the conforming to what society accepts as the “norm”. I do pray that God gives her the strength to stand her ground and do what she is meant to do and not what is expected of her. Of course that all being said, mommy and daddy will still try to convince our little girl that a degree in medicine, law or engineering will never be a bad choice in life- hey we do have to keep her somewhat grounded now don’t we?