Well last Friday, the 3rd of August, Eddie was in town and we decided it was time for us to go out on a date. Yup, our first night out since little princess was born with out her. A real date, you know the kind where you get dressed up in something other than sweat shorts and a T-shirt and you put on make up and actually do your hair. Yeah, I was read y to let someone else watch little twinkle toes while we ventured out as Roxy and Eddie not as Elyssa's mommy and daddy. I have to admit I was a bit excited, I had Toni, Jan's daughter scheduled to come over rand watch the little one. I totally trust her, she has visited with Elyssa on several occasions and I know how well she does with her so I had no qualms about her safety. Toni had worked in a Daycare Center at one point so she has lots of experience with kids. So as I was saying I was actually excited about acting like two kids on a date again, that is until it was time for us to leave..... Yeah, that is where it got really, really tough. Eddie kept looking at me and saying "Honey we have to go", "Rox the baby will be fine, let’s go" but I could not make my legs walk out the door without her...it was horrible!! I did finally leave and as I opened the truck door and buckled myself in, I felt like I had left a part of me behind...as if my heart was left in the house and the shell of my body was sitting in the car. I insisted that Eddie turn the truck around and we go home, he told me I was being crazy. I kept looking in the back seat where her car seat was suppose to be and it was not there, we had deserted her, left her on her own with a stranger. What if she was hungry, what if she was cold, what if she was fussy?? I would not be there to take care of her needs and her wants!! It really truly was one of the most difficult evenings of my life. We ended up going to see the new Bourne Ultimatum movie and believe it or not I did not call once to check on her.... I did not want to look pathetic to Toni, like I did not trust her or something because I did; I knew if there was something wrong she would call me it was just so hard. I almost sent a text message in the middle of the movie but I stopped myself...it was just sooo hard!
We did make it home around 10:30 and little Elyssa was sleeping happily in her cradle swing and looked just as adorable as ever. She was fine, it was as if she did not miss me at all...if only she knew how hard it was for mommy to leave her...I guess it is just one more trial in the journey of motherhood right?
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