Oct 13, 2007

All I can say is I know I am doing this for the best of my child but no one and I mean no one told me it would be this emotionally draining. I cannot stand to watch what she is going through and I hate realizing that I am doing this to her. I almost want to daily blame myself since this condition was caused by her intra-uterine position and the fact that she was premature. She is so sweet, so cute and just so innocent; it is not fair that she is going through this whole process. If you haven’t guessed yet, things are still pretty rough in my house with out little princess and her DOC band. I do have to admit that everyday is getting a bit better and she is not up to 23 hours a day of wearing it, but she is still very, very fussy, cranky and needy. I am of course giving in to her every cry and want, and anyone who wants to criticize me doing this keep you comments to yourself. You have no idea how you would react if you were putting your child through this process. Until you have walked a day in my shoes, please don’t act like you know what is best for my baby. I just feel soo bad. I can say she is doing better with the on and off process now that Daddy is home, it helps that there is someone else to distract her in the process. Doing it by myself it is a lot more difficult. I also think she knows that it is affecting me as much as her!! On a positive note we did go back to Cranial Tech and had the Band adjusted and it seems to help a bit. The redness has gotten better and I take advantage of the hour everyday that I have of her cute little head. I kiss it and cuddle her close to me during that time after her bath. It goes very fast though and I have to cover it back up for the day. On a very positive note, we were told that even though we waited 2 months fighting with the insurance company, we are still only looking at about 8 weeks of banding! I am so happy about this; I just hope I make it through the next 7 weeks..lol without loosing my mind.
Tomorrow we are going to take her to a Pumpkin Patch that has all kinds of thing going on, like hay rides and such. We are going to take lots of pictures (of course) and buy her first pumpkin. We are going with Aunt Tammy and her family. Should be a good day for all of us! Of course we will be back in time to watch the Cowboys game… Daddy is very excited about this game!