July 13, 2007

As I sis there and watch my little princess sleep peacefully in her cradle swing after what seems like 2 hours of fighting this blissful state, I wonder what I did with my time before she arrived. My mind searches for a time before I had Elyssa, before I was pregnant, before this period of my new life but I just cannot seem to put a finger on it. I can’t remember a time before pregnancy “whoas” and the arrival of my little princess, what happened to the old me? What happened to that person…. I wonder just who was she? I assume the transformation from independent person to “Elyssa’s mom” is one many woman have taken before me but I wonder if everyone else feels the same way…what happened to the person we all used to be. My days used to be filled with morning commutes, days of crunching numbers and dealing with patients and clients, my evenings were going out to dinner with my husband or sitting and watching TV in my PJ’s on the couch… now, I am a “mom”. No more do I venture out in the morning to sit in traffic to my corporate job, no more is “month end” a problem for me….I am now here to serve Elyssa’s needs. I watch her sleep in the morning, hoping that she sleeps long enough to allow me to get my shower before she wakes up. Then I hear her little squeaks of “waking” and I rush to her pack and play to cater to her needs. We share that special morning bottle where she rolls her eyes at me and sucks aggressively on her bottle. She “coo’s” her satisfaction with her morning breakfast and further shows her appreciation with a “sailors burp”. I of course applaud her efforts and she looks at me with her toothless grin and this big smile and my heart melts…..I then take her to the bathroom and give her a bath and she gets so excited as she hears the water running and as I undress her playing with her toes and tickling her belly, she looks at me grinning and laughing…. Who needs corporate America when you can have all of this…?? Not I … not I at all…